Why?

Why do we constanly end up eating dinner after 10:00 at night? D was hungry for pizza tonight so he left for the store a little after 9:00 to get a frozen one. Its 9:45 and he's not home yet. The store is less than a mile from our house. I've told him over and over again that I hate eating dinner this late but it constantly happens. He either says he's not hungry until late or he says he's hungry early on but goes outside and starts working on something and isn't done until late. I think I'm going to start making dinner early and if he's not ready to eat, he can just reheat it when he is. I hate lying in bed with a full stomach. Stupid boys.

Quack, Quack

~I went for my first ride of the summer on D's Ducati (A.K.A. the Duc; hence the title of this post). I never thought I'd be riding on a motorcycle. I actually kind of like it. It scares the shit of me though. Do people even pay attention while they're driving these days? We got cut off by some lady talking on her cell phone. She never even saw us. I totally trust D on the bike. He is such a careful driver. Its the other idiots on the road that worry me.

We're starting to build the ark this afternoon

If we get rain today (and there is at least a 50% chance that we will), that will be the 10th day in a row with rain.

I'm going to need some help rounding up some of the animal pairs.

To the annoying neighborhood kid....

If somebody does not answer the door after you ring the doorbell and knock, don't stand there and keep ringing the bell. Either the person is not home, unable to get to the door, or they don't want to be bothered. Just fucking go away.

I swear we have the most annoying kid living a few houses down. Actually, I'm not sure if he lives there but his mom is dating the guy that owns the house. He just kinda showed up one day with the other neighborhood kids. One day when D was working in the garage, said boy comes up and introduces himself. Fine, no problem. Then the kid proceeds to go through the shop next to the garage. Without permission. Then he rings the bell that's next to our driveway b/c "my friend's a fireman" (the bell is pretty big and used to be atop a church to call the firemen; I'm not sure how the previous owners got it). He didn't just ring it once either. He kept ringing it until his mom's boyfriend yelled at him. Then, he tried to come into the house but D finally caught up with him and stopped him. Ballsy little kid, isn't he?

Today, I had just come home from running errands and D came into the house with me. Our front doorbell rang but we weren't expecting anybody. D could tell it was a kid at the door but wasn't in the mood to deal with kids (couldn't tell if it was annoying boy or not). Doorbell rings again. And again. And again. Finally, after the 5th ring, I got fed up and answered the door. Yay, it was annoying boy!!! He wanted to know if D wanted him to cut the grass. I don't blame the kid for trying to keep busy and make some money but ringing the doorbell 5 times? I think our next door neighboor told him we were home but if somebody doesn't answer the door, go away.

Stupid PMS

I hate PMS. I always start getting moody a week before I'm even supposed to start. Since losing the baby, the PMS is worse and starts a few days earlier than normal. I think poor D is at his wits end with my mood swings.

The fact that if I wouldn't be getting PMS if I were still pregnant doesn't help my mood any. I'd be 20 weeks this week. Crazy, huh? It still feels like a dream.

I think I'm going to go drown my PMS sorrows in some ice cream until the next mood swing comes along.

Got cats?

If you're bored and a cat lover, check out this website:

Stuff on my Cat

Up North

I finally made it up north to see my grandmother. It was a tough visit to make but I'm so glad I did. Mom warned me before hand that she looked a lot different but I was still shocked when I walked into her room. She only weighs 100 lbs now and she looks like a skeleton. The worst part is that her speech is really bad. I wasn't expecting that. I don't know if its the Parkinson's or the mini-strokes or something else. It killed me not to be able to understand her very well. But she is the same old Grandma inside. She still made the same old jokes and asked me how my love life was.

I'm so glad I got to see her. I'm not sure how much longer she'll be around. To be honest, I don't blame her if she doesn't fight too hard anymore. She can barely eat anything. All her food is pureed or very soft. It takes her forever to swallow anything. Since swallowing takes so long, they have to thicken any liquid she drinks. If she has to hold it in her mouth too long, it could go into her lungs. She barely drinks anything b/c the thickening stuff tastes awful. She can't walk anymore. She has to rely on the nurses for everything. She's lonely b/c my mom lives over 2 hours away and my aunt lives 4 and they can't be there everyday. How is that living? As much as I don't want her to die, I really think it would be a blessing at this point. Mom and I were bad and snuck her in a piece of apple pie. We figured that since she loves apple pie, if she would choke on a piece, at least she'd go happy. She could only eat 3 bites of it but you could tell it was the best apple pie she'd ever eaten.

When it came time to leave, I gave her a hug and started to cry. I told myself I wouldn't do that b/c I didn't want to upset her but the tears came anyway. She cried too and I couldn't let her go. It was hard for her to get her arms up around me so she just rubbed my arm. I finally had to just say good-bye and run out of the room b/c I didn't want to leave her there. I wish I could bring her here to live with me. There's no way b/c she needs round the clock care and I just can't afford to quit my job and do that. She is getting really good care where she is. The nurses there all love her.

I do have to write about one nurse there who is extra special. We first ran into him while Mom and Grandma showed me around. He got down on Grandma's level and said "Hi Peanut, how are you today." Later, he was walking by her room and came in again. He called her Peanut again and asked when they were going dancing b/c it had been awhile. I didn't know this but my grandfather used to call Grandma "Peanut". They also loved to dance together. D and a girl at work think I'm crazy but I think Papa sent him to keep her company. There was just something special about him. You should see the way Grandma lit up around him. Crazy or not, I think Papa sent an angel to keep her company until they can be together again.